What’s Your Reason?

By: Kristin Martineau | April 24, 2018

What’s the reason that you do what you do?

Sometimes when I ask my clients this question they tell me, “because I have to.”

I want to tell you something.


You don’t have to make dinner for your kids.

You don’t have to go to church.

You don’t have to raise your kids.

You don’t have to stay married.

When you think that you “have to” do something it creates resentment. You feel stuck. Obligated.

I don’t always love making dinner, but I do it because I want to be the kind of Mom who provides healthy food for my family. Most of the time. Sometimes we eat Costco pizza.

Church isn’t always fun with three restless kids. I go because I want to be the kind of person who takes her kids to church, even when it’s hard.

My kids drive me crazy sometimes. I choose to raise them because I want to be the kind of person who doesn’t give up on motherhood even though it isn’t what I expected. I really could let someone else do it. People make that choice all the time.

Marriage isn’t always easy. Divorce IS an option. I’m not stuck in my marriage. I want my marriage to work and so I’m committed to the work.

The truth is, we do these things because we want to. We are dedicated. We are committed.

Stop telling yourself you “have to”.

It’s disempowering.

It’s a lie.

Did you know I coach two people a week for free? It’s your turn to be one of them.

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