Did You Have a Disappointing Mother’s Day? Read this!

By: Kristin Martineau | May 15, 2018

Hi Momma,

How was your Mother’s Day? I know Mother’s Day can be a struggle for many people. If you don’t have kids, but want to be a mother, it can be a reminder of what you long for. If you do have kids, you may feel inadequate or under appreciated. Or you might have a strained relationship with your own mother and Mother’s Day has you feeling angry or sad. While all of these feelings are valid, I want to talk to the Moms who feel like their husband and kids don’t appreciate everything they do for them, because I’ve been there.

Listen momma, I hear you. But I want to tell you something that you might not sound like good news at first, but it is.

You are right. They don’t fully appreciate what you do.

How can this be good news?

Understanding this can keep you in your own power. If you are waiting for your family to understand your sacrifice before you can feel validated, you are for sure going to feel disappointed.

Did you understand what it was like to have kids before you had them? “My kid will never do that, those parents just need to be more consistent, control your kid.” 😂😭 Am I right?

In the same way, people that aren’t mothers just can’t fully understand what it’s like and THAT’S OK.
It’s YOUR JOB to appreciate yourself on Mother’s Day. Everything else is just a bonus.
When I began to really understand this, I enjoyed Mother’s Day (and birthdays and anniversaries) much more.

I could have had a really disappointing Mother’s Day this year.

Here are the facts about my Mother’s Day this year:

My husband worked a long day and didn’t get home until after 8pm.
I helped my kids make me breakfast in bed, which I didn’t get to eat in bed, and then I had to clean up the mess.
I took three kids to church by myself.
I picked out my own present.
My husband gave me flowers that were a year old.
My kids gave me a necklace that I already own.
I woke up to a big mess of paper, glue, and greeting cards that had been dumped out of their box.
We ate popcorn for dinner.

And it was wonderful.

You know why? Because I chose thoughts that made me feel happy. Thoughts like:

I’m so thankful that my husband is willing to work hard.
I love that my kids wanted to do something nice for me. They even wanted to eat breakfast with me in bed. We decided that it would be less messy to eat in the kitchen instead.
The kids were really well behaved at church. They sang an adorable Mother’s Day song with the primary.
We are moving to another state in a couple of weeks which is very expensive so we decided not to spend lots of money on presents this year. I showed my husband a candle that I wanted and he happily bought it for me.
Last year, my husband got me some potted white azaleas on Mother’s Day. I love that he likes to buy flowers that won’t die in a week. They have been outside, but he noticed that they were blooming again on Mother’s Day and brought them in before he went to work for me to enjoy. I love that he thought to do that.
I love that my kids wanted to give me something to open. They were so excited that they snuck in my bathroom while I was still sleeping to pick a necklace for me. They wrapped it themselves and used the box from the cards to wrap it in. The resulting mess was evidence that they love me.
It’s become a tradition since we started late church this year to come home and have “snack dinner.” It’s nice for me not to have to worry about cooking on Sunday and we don’t have to do dishes. I love that I got to snuggle them and eat popcorn on the couch instead of cooking and cleaning on Mother’s Day.
I acknowledged my efforts as a mother and loved myself for that.
I thought about all the things my mother has done for me and the sacrifices (which I am just beginning to understand) she made for me and my 5 siblings.
I thought about my husband’s mother and my gratitude to her for raising such a gentle, loving, brilliant human being.
Most of all, my focus was on ENJOYING MY KIDS and being thankful that I can experience the struggle and privilege of being their mother.

I’m not telling you all of this to brag. I still work hard to recognize and manage my thoughts every day. I’m telling you all of this because I have had Mother’s Days in the past that I felt sorry for myself. I was waiting for someone to create my perfect imaginary Mother’s Day so I could feel appreciated. The reason I was feeling under appreciated was not because of what anyone else did or didn’t do. It was because of the way I was thinking.

I want to help you recognize and change your thoughts if you want to. Learning that skill is everything. It will change your life.

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