“If you come home late, I’m going to be really angry.” “If you brought home a better report card, I wouldn’t be in such a bad mood.” “If you don’t put your dirty laundry in the basket, Mommy is going to be really sad.” “When you fight with your sister, it makes me upset.” “If you wear that, I’m going to be embarrassed.” If you’ve ever said anything like this to your children, you have emotionally blackmailed them. Why? Because you are putting the burden of your emotional state on your child. You are making it their job to behave in such a way that makes you feel good. Most of us grown-ups struggle to manage our own emotions and now we are telling our children that they have to manage our emotions and theirs. That’s a really unfair (and impossible) expectation. Now, if you want to be upset about your child’s behavior, that’s totally fine. Just own that it’s your choice. If you want to set consequences for certain behaviors, you should do that. But let me tell you something . . . you can enforce consequences and just skip the part where you get angry or freak out. You set limits from a place of love for them and because you have their best interest at heart, not because you are trying to change their behavior so you can feel better. Doesn’t that sound so much more PEACEFUL? In my coaching program I teach my clients exactly how to do this. Don’t miss your chance for one of my free mini session spots. There are only two per week!