What My Coach Taught Me About My Value

By: Kristin Martineau | September 4, 2018

Last week, I was getting coached (yes, I have my own coach!) on something that is a recurring frustration for me, which I’m sure most of you Mommas can relate to.

Cleaning the dang house. All. the. time.

I was expressing my frustration to her about how “I have to do it all” and “I have more important things to do than spend hours folding laundry each week.”

She helped me realize that I was equating what I do to my value.

I was feeling frustrated because I don’t consider cleaning a very valuable task. Therefore, if I spend my time cleaning, I’m not valuable. I was also projecting this belief on my kids and husband- in other words, thinking that they believe that about me too. (They totally don’t, and I know that when I really consider it.)

My coach asked me a question that really made me change my perspective about it. She said, “Your value is already fixed. There is nothing you do or don’t do that changes your value. SO, IF NONE OF IT DETERMINES YOUR VALUE, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?”

I never have to clean the house if I don’t want to. I don’t have to “do it all”. I’m not the house slave (I realize that’s dramatic, but that’s where my toddler brain goes sometimes).

Cleaning the house doesn’t make me more or less valuable. The truth is, I want to do a certain amount of cleaning because I like to be in a clean space. I also want to spend time with my kids and husband, grow my coaching business and get enough exercise.

If I drop all the value judgement around the things I should do, life becomes way more fun because I’m choosing it instead of doing it out of obligation to some invisible standard. I’m not the house maid, but sometimes I choose to spend time on laundry because I WANT TO. Sometimes, clean clothes sit in the basket because I’d rather write a blog post (current situation). It’s all ok.

It didn’t take my coach very long to get right to the core of the issue. I had a belief that was causing me unnecessary pain and I didn’t even realize it. That’s the beauty of a life coach. When you have someone on the outside who is trained to look for these things, it’s like magic. You can see your life in a whole new way very quickly.

It’s tricky to find these beliefs in yourself sometimes. I’m a life coach and I didn’t see it in myself. That’s because what my brain tells me seems so true.

What your brain is telling you feels true too. Are you struggling with something that you want help with? I think you’ll be amazed at the perspective you can get on a problem in 30 minutes. I love coaching so much that I want everyone to have a chance to experience it for FREE. Unfortunately, I only have two spots a week that are available for free coaching, so please make sure to sign up here before the spots fill up. You won’t regret it, I promise!

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