I totally lost it today

By: Kristin Martineau | January 6, 2019

For all my talk of life coaching tools and managing your mind and emotions, you might think I have it all together.

I totally don’t.

I locked myself in my room today and just sobbed.

I went in there to get away from my kids. They were pounding on the door which just made me cry harder.

My little ADHDer was having a rough (understatement) day today. I can’t blame her.  She’s been out of school and out of her routine for two weeks now.  Christmas is so fun, but also stressful for her.  Everyone in the house got sick.  We’ve had visitors.  She’s anxious about going back to school Monday.

I can’t explain why, but she does this weird thing where she flops around on the couch or floor like a fish out of water, saying “no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no”  for like an hour.  I can’t really snap her out of it.  Sometimes she’ll stop for a while and then start up again.  Later, when I ask her what’s going on in her brain when she does that she can only say, “I was upset about something, but I forgot what it was and my brain just kept going too fast.”  Heartbreaking, right?

But I was frustrated.  I was thinking of all the other things that are a struggle for her.

She hates getting dressed. I have to tell her 30 times to do it. She would live in pajamas if I let her. She has a really hard time deciding on anything (what to wear, what treat to pick at the store, what she should spend her money on)  She doesn’t want to go anywhere.  She worries about school nearly constantly.  She’s too distracted to sit down and eat.  She doesn’t want to be separated from me, even for a couple of hours at church. She has regular night terrors.

I know what it is. Many kids with ADHD also suffer from anxiety. I know what it is, but I can’t fix it for her.

All of the sudden it just felt so overwhelming.

Enter: emotional childhood.  Mine, not hers.  “This isn’t fair, I feel trapped, I can’t go anywhere, she shouldn’t have to suffer like this”

See? I don’t do it right either.  I know my thoughts aren’t serving me, but sometimes I just want to be sad.  And cry.

You know what? That’s ok.

When I coach someone, the goal isn’t to try and take away all their negative emotions.  The goal is to not get stuck there.

After I had a good cry, I got up and did some self coaching.

I’m so thankful I know how to do that.

Don’t stay in anger and overwhelm.  It’s no fun and will make you a less effective parent. If you are operating in negative emotion most of the time, I can teach you how to coach yourself to operate from a more empowered place. It’s so much easier to enjoy motherhood from there!

P.S. Ok, seriously do any of you have kids that do the flopping around thing?  Please tell me I’m not the only one! What other weird things do they do?  I want to hear about it!

Comment below or email me: [email protected]

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