When Your Helping is Hurting

By: Kristin Martineau | February 13, 2019

You want what’s best for your child.

You want him to succeed.

You want him to be happy.

You want him to know his value.

So you go about making sure all that happens.

You make sure he’s in the “right” school.

You make sure he gets all his homework turned in.

When he’s sad you try and cheer him up.

When he’s feeling bad about himself you try and talk him out of feeling that way.

You do it out of love.

You mean well, I have no doubt.

I see it all the time.

Parents think it’s their job to control their child’s outcome.

This is called over functioning, and it sends the wrong message.

When you are over functioning for your child, you are teaching him to under function.

You are teaching him that what makes a decision right is out of our hands.

You are teaching him that he isn’t responsible for himself, you are.

You are teaching him that feeling sad is a problem.

You are teaching him that he should always feel good about himself.

What if your job is to be the guide and not the hero?

What if your job is to let him have his experience and be there to love him no matter what?

What if he’s supposed to make mistakes? Really big ones sometimes.

What if you are only responsible for being the kind of Mom you want to be?

So how do you know if you are guiding or over functioning?

That would take like an hour to explain.  Good news! We have an entire class on that.

My husband Karl, who is a licensed physician in his fourth year of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry training and I will be teaching a six week ONLINE class for parents of ADHD kids.

Some of the things that we’ll cover in the class

  1. What ADHD is and isn’t.  What treatments are proven safe and effective. How to know when it’s time to start or stop medication.
  2. How can I help my child succeed? The five areas of the illness experience and how to you can help in these areas WITHOUT OVER FUNCTIONING.
  3. Why we do what we do. Why our kids do what they do.
  4. How to set appropriate expectations and boundaries. WITHOUT OVER FUNCTIONING
  5. Managing your own emotions around your child’s illness and behavior.
  6. Guiding your children to manage their emotions.

If you want to be the first to know when the class is launched CLICK HERE NOW to get on the interest list.  If you are on the list, you’ll get a special prize from us.  Sign up so you don’t miss it!

PUT ME ON THE LIST!   <———————- CLICK THIS

Leave a Reply