For the ADHDer-

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Online ADHD Evaluation $399

For The Significant Other

Loving someone with ADHD can be challenging.

To someone that doesn’t have ADHD, the symptoms can be bewildering and frustrating. Chances are though that once upon a time, those very same symptoms had something to do with why you fell in love in the first place.

  • Spontaneity? Exciting when you are dating. Frustrating when you are married and trying to follow a budget.
  • Hyperfocus? Flattering when you are dating and it’s directed toward you. Confusing after you get married and the hyperfocus shifts to something else like guitars, or cars, or exercise or video games.
  • Creativity? Attractive when you are dating. Frustrating when you live together and there are creative messes strewn all over the house.

So how can you live with someone like this?

The truth is: Your ADHD partner hasn’t changed. What’s changed is what you are making their behavior mean. If they are no longer so focused on you, you might make it mean that they don’t love you anymore. If they blow the budget, you might make it mean that they don’t care about your future together. If they leave messes all over the house, you might make it mean that they don’t respect you and your shared space.

Trust me when I say that your spouse most likely doesn’t mean any of these things, you’ll save yourself a lot of resentment if you just ask yourself (or them! nicely of course) why they do what they do. I bet you they aren’t going to say, “I left all this paint out because I don’t respect your space.”

You are allowed to make requests of your spouse. You can still work together to find solutions in your marriage, but get clear on the real reason they do what they do.

Here’s the truth: It’s never about you.